in the New York Times

The advertising industry’s “Council for Research Excellence” commissioned a report into media usage, which found that the average American watches 61 minutes of advertising and promotions a day. A senior researcher at Turner Broadcasting says that the data is “actually quite comforting” for the TV industry.

The New York Times reports it with a straight bat, which is a pity. Next time they might point to the effects of so much screen time.

Click to read more of the New York Times article.

I spent 16 hours in a row to get an animated graphic to work properly on a website. That’s very sad. I’m a perfectionist, and on that occasion I was out of control.

Perfectionism is tricky. A little bit can make you strive hard; too much and you’re susceptible to stress, anxiety and even depression. Where is the line between the two?

Here is a comparison from the University of Texas Counseling and Mental Health Center.

A perfectionist:
- sets standards beyond reach and reason
- is never satisfied by less than perfection
- becomes dysfunctionally depressed when experiences failure
- is preoccupied with fear of failure and disapproval
- sees mistakes as evidence of unworthiness
- becomes overly defensive when criticized

A healthy striver:
- sets high standards, just beyond reach
- enjoys the process as well as the outcome
- bounces back from failure and disappointment quickly and with energy
- keeps normal anxiety and fear of failure and disapproval within normal bounds
- sees mistakes as opportunities for growth and learning
- reacts positively to helpful criticism.

Perfectionism is destructive and people seek and receive treatment for it. CBT is the norm. To me the hardest thing is seeing when aiming high is getting out of hand and becoming destructive.

Writing this post is a good case in point. I should have a stopwatch on.

There are questionnaires at the BBC and Discovery Health that can give you an indication of where you lie on the scale. If you do just one then I think the shorter Discovery Health is better.

Simplifying is about streamlining your life; removing the distractions that aren’t important to you. By freeing up time, money, and energy, you can give more attention to staying well and to your highest priorities. If there is complexity in your life, then it will affect your ability to cope with depression. A good tonic is to simplify.

If you want to rationalize then the place to start is your goals and values. What is really important to you? How are you going to spend your allotted time on earth?

In my view “simplifying” is synonomous with “removing clutter”, and there are 3 kinds that I take to.

1. Physical clutter

When I buy something it owns me, not the other way around. My time, energy and effort goes into looking after it. What can I throw out instead? If this is you, then ask yourself what something will do for you every time you’re about to buy. Will it add to your life somehow? Or will it quickly become obsolete and a burden?

2. Lifestyle clutter

Are you committed to so many activities that you rush from one to the next, often running late and feeling stressed? Do you work back each night, bearing more and more of the workload? Do you find it hard to say no to new committments? Busyness is the new disease of the western world, but we, especially we, need to wake up and smell the roses. The stress of a rushed life is much harder for us mentally ill people to bear. We need to straighten our priorities, learn to say no, set reasonable schedules and not feel guilty about it.

Over the last few years I’ve learned the beauty and power of the word “No”. It’s OK to say no, and I’ve found that it actually garners respect. Everyone has to set boundaries on their life, but boundaries are only respected if you hold firmly to them. We need to focus on the most important things in our lives, like key relationships or spiritual growth.

3. Mental Clutter

I often have lots of things buzzing around in my head, but nothing gets my full attention, and nothing gets finished. (No doubt my love of strong, locally grown coffee is partly to blame.) When I start to feel overwhelmed I ask my wife to help me gain perspective. We work out the things that I actually need to do, not just things I’ve compulsively collected in a real or imagined to-do list over the previous fortnight. Some of the things are so menial, but they get put on a list and find a corner of my cluttered mind in a weak or manic moment. All of these have to go, so I can feel in control again. This has a wider application, as many depressed people have the same feeling of loss of control. I know that my very worst depressive episodes have been accompanied by this. Putting my mind into some kind of order, or decluttering, is a great help.

More reading:
http://zenhabits.net/2007/08/peaceful-simplicity
http://zenhabits.net/2007/09/simple-living-simplified
http://www.slowdownnow.org/

The Bureau of Labor Statistics recently published the Time Use Survey for the U.S. in 2006. The chart for leisure time on an average day, for ages 15 and over, appears above.

The most striking thing about the chart is its neat division down the center. Just over half of all leisure time is spent consuming TV. TV makes up more than all of the other leisure activities combined. If you add in use of the computer for leisure, then total “screen” time is getting close to 60% of the pie.

I posted recently about the rubbish being shown on TV. It is full of stress and negative energy. Good news and happy endings just don’t sell. TV is especially unhelpful for us people with mood disorders.

My wife Anna told me tonight that the type of TV program that I watch has a big impact on my mood. A movie that is very violent, dark or disturbing can trigger or worsen a depressive episode. Even the nightly news can trigger symptoms like anger and irritability. At the same time relaxing in front of a comedy or light, airy movie can be helpful. It took Anna about 5 years to figure this out. Longer for me.

In your life, how much time do you spend on the right hand side of the pie? How much can you move across to the left, and what other categories of leisure can you add in that will benefit your health?

On a slight tangent, I’m interested to hear how other parents manage leisure time for their kids.

I’m not saying that I’ve sorted it all out, but for the moment I like the rules in place for our 3 kids (ages 4, 7 and 9). Firstly we don’t distinguish between TV, DVDs, Nintendo, etc. We let them have 45 minutes of “screen time” on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays, and 1 hour 20 minutes on Saturdays and Sundays. Mondays and Tuesdays are “screen free days”. The exceptions are schoolwork and “typing tutor” (which is gathering dust).

Looking at the above chart I can see that we are strict parents, but it’s fair to say that the kids have a good balance of leisure activities. Much better than I do! And of course, if I’m alone at home with the kids and I’m ill, the screen rules disappear.

Therese Borchard has written an excellent post on her Beliefnet blog, describing her 12 step program for staying on top of depression. It is one that she devised herself but is similar to the 12 step programs that addicts use.

One of her important points is that it takes an awful lot of work to get better and then stay well. I agree wholeheartedly. It seems that those who actively participate in their treatments have the most success in returning to and maintaining good health. They are active in learning about the illness, in locating resources, in finding the right treatments, and they are determined to pull things around. It doesn’t help to be passive about depression.

Therese’s experience of nearly giving up on traditional medicine rings true. For the first few years of being treated my family doctor experimented with various drugs with little success. I was fortunate to find a great psychiatrist on my first attempt, but it involved a good dose of my own research. When my doctor suggested a psychiatrist I declined and asked him to refer me to the one I had chosen. I know that most people don’t have the time or inclination to do this, but it was important for me as the point in which I became active in my treatment. I had been labeled “treatment resistant” for too long.

I would point out that when medicines are used it is not just about finding the right drug or mix of drugs, but also making the right diagnosis in the first place. This sounds very basic but misdiagnoses are very common. It is awful being treated for the wrong mood disorder.

Therese has developed her system very purposefully. Remaining healthy requires a plan; much more than passive acceptance. I definitely suggest you try her 12 steps, with some shaping to suit.