Comments on: Ways to Insult Someone with Depression

By: Teresa

Teresa — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 17:29:18 +0000

Thanks for all your comments. I have suffered from depression on and off for many years and am having trouble now for a few weeks again. I am actively trying to get through it but my husband doesn’t understand I just can’t snap out of it. He tries but….I know it isn’t pleasant for him to live with but then again it isn’t pleasant for me either and I am trying to change it. I find that exercize works for me better than any antidepressants. I don’t like medication and find that exercize is a much better antidepressant than any pharma. I wish you all well with your recoveries.

By: Maxy

Maxy — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 07:43:49 +0000

I’ve heard all these above statements. I’m not lazy, i never was. But, due to all these symptoms, it’s hard to pick myself up and just snap out of it! My family knows it all that i take anti-depressants and why i quit my job. But, still they choose to insult me every day. God, if i was stronger like before i would never let anyone hurt me like this.

By: ribbit

ribbit — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 17:34:56 +0000

I have heard these all. A good friend of mine went to a psychiatrist who yelled at her for crying, pointed out how her life wasn’t bad and told her she should just snap out of it. Um, yup. Nothing like a supposed mental health professional telling you you feel the wrong way and it’s all your fault to cheer you up!

By: Su

Su — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 04:59:35 +0000

I wanted to add that I’ve tried yoga, it’s helped minimally then not at all. Tried Reiki, helped in the beginning, but then life situation and coping skills are bad. Am currently on homeopathy – the suggestion for acupressure isn’t really bad,but unfortunately we might be in such a low place that we feel well that’s just another waste of money on something someone says may work, but it won’t work for me if the pills and the CBT and the yoga and the vitamins and the diet and the positive thinking haven’t….and there are some people who say change the way you think – it’s difficult. It is. Especially when you and everyone else thinks in pretty much the same patterns…or you are completely lost- it is different for everyone, everyone is in a different stage, everyone can only see from their own point of view… you yourself don’t understand whether it’s you or the depression – really…. and you try and some days it works and most days it doesn’t. and people in other countries do get depressed, the stigma is so strong that it’s not announced. The depressed people in Africa and Asia are hidden. It’s as simple as that. Hidden. Invisible. That’s the curse. I was ok in June, then went down in July – and only resurfaced again now.

I’ve felt ok for a week now and showering – but I honestly I’ve had really bad nutrition and haven’t been able to walk unless absolutely necessary for two months. We don’t know what will work or how things just “stop”. And now I see I don’t have any friends, and family relations are severed – all be cause I couldn’t keep up and they weren’t bothered either – all because it seems so easy for an outsider for you NOT to be like that….oh and rage and anger can definitely be part of depression. You can get highly sensitive to things, people not putting things back in the right place every single day, just being unable to take other people and wanting to eat alone because they talk so loudly and put the television on so loudly…. I wish they weren’t but they are, it’s the anger inwards gone outwards. And it can also be side effects of the SSRIs. It was for me. I just didn’t realise it.

By: Su

Su — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 14:34:50 +0000

Hi everyone – I’ve been down for three years with a breakdown and I think I might be recovering. You know what the sad thing is? I’ve heard most of the things “I think you’re making it up” “You just don’t want to get well/ get a job”. The one that has hurt me the most – moreso because for two solid months after I was in such a fragile state of mind I believed it utterly was “Maybe something really bad has to happen before you can finally get up and take control of yourself” – from someone who has suffered from clinical depression her entire life as well.

And the faces people make when I say I can’t work or even think about applying.

But the past couple of days I’ve been above water and I see it from their point of view and I know that it seems logical to them.

Honestly, they will NEVER be able to tell what it’s like, even if they’ve had it when they are now recovered and it was always different from what you are experiencing. They always think they pulled themselves out of it… could be, but as we know each case is so radically different and something that works for one just DOESN’T for another….for example, 18 months of medication haven’t worked, made it worse. CBT didn’t work, 26 sessions of it. I didn’t know what it was like until, and as such I still don’t know how you are feeling about it.

I never want to be like that; at the same time I want to be healed. Is it possible to be empathic without suffering? I have no idea.

Th worst thing is that you think they are right. I’ve always thought they were right: you just need to be positive….but it can’t work for clinical depression, not really. I don’t know. I’m really hoping we all get well – seriously I do……..

By: Roy

Roy — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 01:35:15 +0000

“Have you tried acupuncture?”

You know I get this one often, and they mean well. But it makes me feel like I’m not “working on” my problems and that I just need a little “magic” to cure me.

By: james

james — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 03:10:35 +0000

I’m confused by the last sentence. Did Abraham Lincoln have the mentally ill in mind, or is that your subjective interpretation and he was actually speaking in general terms?

By: abraham lincoln

abraham lincoln — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 03:01:41 +0000

you cannot help the poor by destroying the rich. you cannot strenghten the weak by weaking the strong. you cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift. you cannot lift the wage earner up by pulling the the wage payer down, you cannot futher the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred. you cannot build characte and courage by taking away people’s initiative an independence. you cannot help people permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves.

By: Ben

Ben — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 14:12:25 +0000

While I agree that you have touched on an important issue (even 2 years later!) about the power of language and its impact on emotion.
However, as someone who has had several people in his life suffering with depression, there are times when I have desperately wanted to help and gotten frustrated at my powerlessness to help.
I haven’t actually said these things (or I hope not!) but I know the source of the words.
But heck, that’s just my $.02.
Ben

By: Chris

Chris — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 00:43:43 +0000

I dont have depression but I have been married to my beautiful wife for 27years and she has suffered from depression on and off for twenty years and I can tell you that it has taken a toll on our marrage yes I know people change over the years but when she gets down as I call it it is so hard,I have learned alot about depression and I am still learning about it and I can say that I have said 90 percent of the list of how to insult someone with depression and for that as I have learned more about this horrible desease I am truely sorry ,I can tell you that it comes not from not respecting or loving the person affected but comes from pure ignorance of the illness and of how it affects others and I can honestly say that living with someone who has depression is and can be extremely difficult,but I can safely say that as I learn more I will never say things like that again good luck on your journey to control this hiddeous problem kind regards Chris