It’s an odd title I know. What can possibly be good about mental illness? Well, nothing when you’re in the depths of despair. But there can be great benefits from having an illness, including a mental illness. These are the ones I’ve found in my life.
Slow.
I’ve slowed down a lot. I stopped wearing a watch a couple of years ago and haven’t missed it once. If someone asks me the time I take a guess, and I’m always within 10 or 15 minutes of the correct answer. If I’m 10 or 15 minutes late for the doctor, it doesn’t matter. He works to the same system anyway.
No.
I’ve learned how to say no. If you are good at something, like work, then people will ask you to do more. It builds up over time. I’ve learnt to say no. I can’t. I’m mentally ill. Sorry.
Simple.
I don’t worry about what I’m going to wear. I don’t have to keep track of my clothes cycle for work. I don’t care what I’m going to eat for dinner, whether I need a bigger television, if I can buy a half-decent car or what people think of my extra 30 pounds of insulation. If I didn’t have depression these things would still consume me.
Thanks.
It’s been tricky but I’ve learned to be thankful for what I have, not what I don’t have. It keeps things in the right perspective.
Time.
I now spend more time on things that are important to me. Example – I have great relationships with my kids. Time with them is invaluable. Unfortunately most Dads don’t spend more than a few minutes a day giving their kids undivided attention. Depression is a good wake-up call.
Perspective.
I’ve developed a much bigger picture of things and learned to keep the small things in perspective. This has been necessary because of depression.
Health.
I take my physical health much more seriously than I used to because of my illness. If I can just get exercise to fall into place!
Marriage.
My marriage is far stronger today than it would ever have been if I didn’t have bipolar. I read recently that 90% of marriages with one partner having bipolar end in divorce. If that statistic is even close to right then it is truly tragic. My wife had plenty of reasons to leave me for years, but she stayed true to her vows even though she didn’t understand what was wrong with me. (I write that with a touch of trepidation. I know that many don’t have good support and I can’t imagine how hard it is.)
Friends.
I’ve always been very open about having a mental illness, and I’ve actually never felt the stigma. When I converted to Christianity about 15 years ago I lost half my good friends who had a problem with it. Since I’ve been telling people that I have bipolar I’ve gained at least the same number of friends. Go figure!
Others.
The best thing about having any illness must be the ability to empathize and help others.
Speak.
I was once very guarded with what I said, often checking myself from saying anything that could offend or impact someone’s view of me. I’ve really lightened up and feel liberated. I’m rarely inappropriate, but if I am, as far as I can tell nobody really cares. (“Mmmm, James is a bit up today.”)
Character.
In the Bible, in Romans 5:3-4 it says:
“we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”
Concern.
Being engaged with the world is good. I think a lot more deeply about things like inequality, poverty, the environment and mental illness. Unfortunately being more concerned means I feel more let down by those in power who continually fail us.
Laugh.
Life is absurd. My life is absurd. I’ve learned to laugh more at both.
Service.
We have friends who always have a very, very messy house. 3 young girls, great imaginations, a lot of dress-up clothes, craft, renovations, and you know the rest. They frequently invite other families over for lunches and dinners, and have long joked that it’s a service to the parents, to make them feel better about the state of their own houses.
Then I found this in another blog:
“When you’re mentally ill you are constantly doing social work just by existing. I realize that often, when you’re crazy you actually need social services for yourself, but just by talking about yourself to people who aren’t feeling that great about themselves, you are able to instantly make them feel glad they aren’t you. That’s a great service to offer.”
Finally.
I took part in a pilot educational program a few years ago for people with bipolar. It was spread over 6 weeks for 3 or 4 hours a week. Before then I had never met anyone with bipolar, so it was strange getting to know 20 other people with the same illness. Strange because they were all very normal people!
On one night a guest speaker talked about her bipolar illness, describing some of the joys and benefits that she’d experienced. At the end of the talk she said that given her life again she would have bipolar again. A couple of people were very offended. For the rest of us it gave food for thought. I’ve been chewing on that one ever since.
Anneka Weston 24 Jul 2007 @ 4:21 am
hi from another bi polar Christian. Dont know how people cope in life with out Jesus. have met a number of bi polar Christians through my work for MDF there must be quite a few of us. Enjoyed reading your thoughts.
Thanks
Anneka
Finding Optimism - World of Psychology 5 Aug 2007 @ 4:22 pm
[...] The list is compiled at the great new blog Finding Optimism. Among the positive views is the entry 12 Best Things About Being Mentally Ill. Check it out. Time. I now spend more time on things that are important to me. Example – I have [...]
Greta 6 Aug 2007 @ 8:38 pm
It’s nice to hear someone say something good about bipolar for once… not that it’s a party…it’s not, but I certainly wouldn’t be the person I am today if I had been born without this illness. If I had the chance to live my life again, I would choose for bipolar to be a part of it, despite that pain that comes with the package. Thanks for the article, I really enjoyed it.
-Greta
http://goodtherapy.org
Diana 21 Aug 2007 @ 9:23 pm
I think mental illnesses are ways that we react to the world around us when it conflicts with who we are and how we perceive things at a given time. They are opportunities to grow and realize we are all uniquely powerful and that there is beauty to be found in almost anything. From all darkness comes light.
CiderJack 23 Aug 2007 @ 3:10 pm
“Yes.” She nodded. “The paranoids — actually paranoiac schizophrenics — would function as the statesman class; they’d be in charge of developing political ideology and social programs — they’d have the overall world view. The simple schizophrenics…” She pondered. “They’d correspond to the poet class, although some of them would b e religious visionaries — as would be some of the Heebs [hebephrenics]. The Heebs, however would be inclined to produce ascetic saints, whereas the schizophrenics would produce dogmatists. Those with Polymorphic schizophrenia simplex would be the creative members of the society, producing the new ideas.” She tried to remember what other categories might exist. “There could be some with over-valent ideas, psychotic disorders that were advanced forms of milder obsessive-compulsive neurosis, the co-called diencephalic disturbances. Those people would be the clerks and office holders of the society, the ritualistic functionaries, with no original ideas. Their conservatism would balance the radical quality of the poly-morphic shcizophrenics and give the society stability.”
Mageboon said, “So one would think the whole affair would work.” He gestured. “How would it differ from our own society on Terra?”
-Philip K. Dick, Clans of the Alphane Moon
Newt Stremple 12 Sep 2007 @ 3:20 am
Hey – thanks for making me not feel so alone. I have friends and family who love me and are great at supporting me, but there’s nothing like hearing from other people who know what this is like. I’m working on a zine called Not the Only Crazy about depression and this site is going to be a huge resource.
Joylene 17 Sep 2007 @ 9:02 pm
I really appreciate your input about bipolar. I’ve also known same amazingly beautiful artists with bipolar — they have added so much beauty to this world…
Julian the Apostate 29 Dec 2007 @ 1:08 am
Artists!? ARTISTS!!?? I would give anything right now to NOT have ANY “artistic” so-called skills AT ALL. They are NOT WANTED and NOT PRACTICAL and NOT NEEDED!!
I’d rather have something PRACTICAL!!!!!
Oh big DEAL I string BEADS and tinker with a jeweller’s saw and make stupid TRINKETS!!
WHOOP DEE DOO!!
I was talking to my brother today, he just passed the test to be hired as a power-plant worker, and as he was telling me about the things he’d be able to do if he got hired…buy a house and all…I cried and cried and CRIED!!
This “artistic” CRAP has gotten me NOWHERE in 20 YEARS and I HATE IT!!!
ARTISTS!! Go away!! :( :( :(
(crying)
G 18 Mar 2008 @ 9:16 am
I enjoyed reading the “12 Things…”. I think you point at important positive aspects and I would especially agree with the “others” and “concern” part. Though there’s the other side of the coin: it can be quite overwhelming to be so sensitive to what others are often not even close to see.
I am not bipolar but “just” depressive, and I really hope for a day when I can feel the warmth of just one ray of light on me again. Choose a life with depression over one without it? C’mon. Maybe a couple of months to experience a different, darker side of life. No, this suffering is no way to live. It is the light at the end of the tunnel that makes it worth fighting.
tg 19 May 2008 @ 10:19 pm
I really appreciated this post: “12 best best things about…”
I can relate to to insights gained and mixed blessings from living with bipolar II. Liked the humor in the last one about “performing social work just by existing.”
This is a positive website!
tg 19 May 2008 @ 10:31 pm
Really appreciated this post. Can relate to insights gained and “mixed blessings” of coping with bipolar II. Liked the humor at the end about “performing social work by just existing.” :-)
Jan Prejbisz 9 Sep 2008 @ 6:25 pm
From the other side:
My mother is bipolar.
The best thing you can do (especially if you’re a teenager) is move away for a while but keep sporadic contact.
My relationship with my mother improved by several orders of magnitude after 6 months away from “home” and almost no contact.
After living with “normal” people it became clear to me that I wasn’t the mental one.
Never question your sanity based on the assertions of your parents.
No matter how sure they seem.
I now keep in regular contact with my mother and realise that if she cries down the phone at me she is in a dip and that I should call back in a few days to assuage the guilt she will undoubtedly be feeling, and reassure her that I am alright and that she is alright.
If you have any views on the above post please let me know @ janprejbisz@gmail.com as this is the first time I’ve put any of this into written form.
Sincerely,
Jan Prejbisz.
BH 26 Sep 2008 @ 8:17 am
Thanks for the article. I agree with everything you are saying and have gone through the ups and downs of bipolar and the various sundry treatments to make life a bit more stable. I also agree with the scripture qouted about perseverence building character and character building hope. Having been through tough times, suicide attempts, depressive and manic episodes makes for an interesting life. But it is a life with experiences that has made me stronger and able to help others by just being me.
Doug 24 Dec 2008 @ 7:18 pm
Very nicely thought out. I am a much richer person for the things that I’ve been thru — and continue to go thru. Thanks for the perspective.
No 5 Jan 2009 @ 10:06 pm
I agree with the Artist comment from Julian. This is not a good era to be an artist. You can’t support yourself by using your talents. You end up taking demeaning jobs that don’t allow you the time to even practice art in your spare time, because you have either no spare time or no money to buy supplies. It’s enough to make somebody want to curse god for giving them a useless, impractical talent and no opportunity to do anything with it.
Lynda 2 Jun 2009 @ 5:53 am
Great post. I don’t have bi-polar (I have chronic depression) but I grew up with a mother who did. She was wild and wacky and I miss her so much. Sure, there were extreme down times and her anger could be like Katrina blowing through your life, but what a childhood I had. She’d take us for walks at midnight and told me the moon followed me around cause I was special. She’d laugh and laugh and make each of our days brighter. She was always for the underdog and me.. being a 60’s child, usually got out-done by my own mother when it came to getting out and trying to change the world. How weird was it going to protest meeting and finding your mother there!
All the best to all of you. We are all unique and special and I have found in my long life that it just isn’t black and white, we all have such greatness in us.
Debby 4 Jun 2009 @ 4:36 am
I love being a bi-polar artist/writer who can best be described as creativity with feet, but I also understand the longing to be able to do the simple things in life like being able to count on myself and my mood. Sometimes I can’t even notice that my house is a disaster let alone figure out where to start to clean it. But this is how God made me. Good for the people who can do a tedious nine to five. I am not one of them. Good for the people who can eat sugar and stop at one cookie. I am not one of them either. But we have so many wonderful things to offer. I love us!!!!!
kathbc 6 Jul 2009 @ 1:46 pm
Just to let you know, my husband is bi polar, and has done quite well artistically – he creates art from wood. At the moment he is building wooden chests for our children, then he will make new beds for them. He finds that when he is manic he plans what he will make this is his design phase. When he is feeling within the ‘normal’ range he goes over his designs, tweeks them and cuts the wood, when he is depressed is the perfect time for sanding and doing the little tedious things which don’t require too much energy, but still give him a sense of achievement.
He doesn’t do full time work well for long – a year is about what he manages, but the things he creates are valuable and saleable and bring in a little money at craft markets. His biggest problem is putting the right price on the items for sale – usually he under prices his work which means that those who can afford to buy them don’t value them as they don’t cost enough – the snob effect! Luckily we have a new friend who is telling him the right prices for his items so they are selling. So don’t undervalue yourself or your art.
james 6 Jul 2009 @ 2:07 pm
That’s brilliant! He must have a lot of control to not do the lot in his “design phase”. Your support of him is wonderful.
Teresita 13 Jul 2009 @ 12:04 pm
This has been a bless in my day and my life….thank you for sharing your experience. Now I know I am in the right way in my life…studying as an Art Therapist….. It is an excelent tool and a good way to focus all the energy…maybe can be useful for someone….thanks!
Roy 21 Dec 2009 @ 12:42 pm
i love this article and many of these ring true for me. recently i’ve been trying to envision happiness in my meditation and i’ve had glimpses of these ideas there. thanks for sharing :).
Sheri 28 Jan 2010 @ 9:23 am
I too am a Bipolar christian, one who wishes that I had an artistic streak as it might be a way to support myself at a time when SSI is being denied and I have blown up my job history and my credit history. I have been single and raising 3 children for the past 25 years (single again for 14 yrs) and currently require my son to put a roof over my head. Struggling to get a job, struggling with my faith at the moment. Im 47 and my whole world is in TILT mode.
Sheri
Curiosity 18 Mar 2010 @ 8:29 am
What’s interesting is that I created my own list of upsides, then came back here to re-read yours. …And there are a lot more similarities than I would have remembered. I guess maybe some of the positives to depression are universal.
Kimmy 1 Apr 2010 @ 10:33 pm
I too have bipolar and at times I feel as though it is a curse, however I know It has many positive aspects as well. I have been on disability since 03 And during this time I have had the oppurtunity to continue my education. I will be starting a PsyD program in aug of this year. At times I struggle with the ability to work when it is required, but then come back full force and bang out an amazing amount of work. To quote Kay Jamison ” having lived with bipolar I have felt things more deeply; had more experiences, more intensly; loved more and been loved; laughed more often, for having cried more often; appreciated more springs, for all of the winters. Depressed I have crawled on my hands and knees in order to get across a room. But, normal or manic, I have run faster, thought faster, and loved faster than most I know .”
Sara 25 Apr 2010 @ 7:27 am
i was diagnosed with bipolar three years ago. i haven’t had any mania since but almost wish I would that one manic episode felt amazing. just want to see the joy in life again.