Here is the synopsis:

Buddy has depression. It’s not debilitating, but serious enough that he has no joy in life. He’s not so much a black dog; more a brown dog if you like.

Buddy has read some books that have helped him with his depression, but the one called “Taming the Black Dog” falls on him, compounding his woes.

He gets on his computer and uses the Optimism software. (Ahem, where are the screen images?) The app helps and he’s feeling more positive about overcoming depression. For some reason he is now reading Napolean Hill – what’s that about, Buddy? – and climbs into his box with a little more hope than before.

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I have always struggled to drink the quota of 6, 8 or 10 glasses a day (which depends on your source). I have my own target, clear urine by midday, which is equally difficult to achieve. As far as I know this target is not scientifically based, but my own empirical evidence has shown that it’s a good measure of progress part way through the day.

I made a significant personal discovery a couple of weeks ago. I started adding a small amount of Apple juice to each glass of water, about 1 part juice to 4 parts water. My initial motivation was weight loss but I quickly began enjoying the taste and sweetness, and I found it very refreshing and hydrating. No surprises there. It is now the only thing I drink apart from coffee, and for the first time ever I’m meeting my midday target.

Chemicals in food can cause major problems, which I wrote about in a recent post. However, chemicals in the environment can be just as bad. Your skin is your largest organ and it can absorb enormous amounts of chemicals, not just from makeup. Chemicals also enter your body through your nose. Aromatherapy is an example where your mood can be altered through your sense of smell.

Can the chemicals in your environment make your mood worse or even make you sick? Absolutely.

Gas cookers increase the carbon monoxide and nitrogen dioxide levels in the house. Moulds give off toxic fumes. You should make sure that your house is well ventilated and clean.

Think about the personal care products that you use. Makeup is a big culprit. Look at the ingredients – I can’t pronounce most of them. Liquid soap normally contains a chemical called sodium laureth sulfate which is a detergent and known skin irritant. It is also found in shampoos and toothpaste. But the list of chemicals is long and so are their potential effects for people who are sensitive. They are in deodorants, moisturizers, sunscreens.

If you’re concerned about the chemicals in your life then it would be a good idea to research the products you are using and potential substitutes, either online or somewhere like your local health food shop. There are many alternative products that are safe, work well, and don’t use harsh chemicals. For example cleaning with a mixture of vinegar and bicarbonate soda is an excellent substitute for detergents on many surfaces in the home.

Sensitivity to chemicals can cause real problems for some people, including changes to their moods. But once you adjust the products that you use in the house it is fairly easy to keep going. An allergy specialist can also do tests that hone in on each class of chemicals. That is what we ended up doing for Maddie.

Most people head for a search engine to look for information, which is the first obstacle in finding what you need. Search engines are generally good at giving relevant results, but there is always rubbish in there as well. Search engines aren’t perfect.

Google is the most popular engine by far, because its results are normally good and it’s fast. In ranking websites Google places emphasis on links between same or similar industry websites. A blog about depression that has been linked to by large, reputable mental illness organzations will outrank a similar blog that is popular with large gambling sites. This makes sense for ranking sites by credibility.

I’ll write about Google here because it has such a large share of the market, but the same issues apply to other search engines.

When you type the search term “depression” into Google, you receive a lot of results for reliable sources. The first 10, 20 or 50 appear mostly good. But what about the other 120 million results? Click a few pages forward and the odd website looks a bit dubious, and it goes slowly downhill from there.

But the biggest roadblocks to finding reliable information are at the tops and sides of Google pages. In these positions there are 10 or so results under the subtle gray titles “Sponsored Links”. These are paid advertisements. If you look at the sponsored listings you can see that they are generally sales based. On the front page of my search one of the results is “Depression Free in 3 Minutes”. (LOL). For such a high rank this site will be paying at least $2 a click. It wouldn’t be advertising if it wasn’t making more than $2 per visitor for whatever it is selling.

Call me a fool but it took me years to realize that “Sponsored Links” can be anything, with no implication about reputation or credibility. There will be many others, especially new users, who like me lack this same knowledge. They click and find themselves on a site looking for the promised information, while the seller is taking them by the arm and guiding them towards the transaction tunnel.

Ads like these are now everywhere. They are on newspaper sites, blogs, portals, health sites, anywhere that the site owner wants to make a bit of extra money delivering Google ads to his or her visitors. Web designers blend them into their websites, so the distinction between content and advertising is blurred, even with the subtle “Sponsored Links” displayed somewhere close by. Blah!

Thanks to Dawn at the Experience Project for providing the idea and much of the information for this post.

I’ve just read a very helpful article at Psych Central that is in the same vein. Helping Someone with a Mental Health Concern is written by psychiatrist John M. Grohol. Of particular interest to me are his insights on effective listening and empathizing with a mentally ill person. It is invaluable advice for someone in a caring role.

To read the article click here.

There are literally dozens of articles with similar headings to the one above. When I see them I immediately wonder if the writer has ever been depressed. Mental illness is anything but simple. Depression describes a broad spectrum of mood disorders, and there are many and varied treatments that provide different levels of success. Any “tip sheet” is by its nature superficial.

At the same time, such articles can be helpful. They aren’t normally written by medical or health professionals, so they provide input from outside traditional medicine. They give many ideas for lifestyle changes; ideas that won’t necessarily overcome depression by themselves, but nonetheless may be helpful to differing degrees for different people.

I’ve put links to a sample of articles below; some good and others pretty poor. I’ve summarized the tips from each so you can easily look further into what interests you.

You might also like to read my previous post What Works for Depression which is based on 2 research studies.

Please feel free to share your thoughts and ideas in the comments section below.

Top 5 Tips to Beat Depression
This is the only article in the 20 or so that I’ve read that suggests researching your illness and keeping a mood diary. Both of these are very underrated strategies that can get a person well on the road to recovery. The writer is also only one of two to discuss triggers. If you only read one of these articles then this should be the one.
Research depression, talk with someone, try different things to get well, mood diary, improved diet.

Ten Tips For Managing Your Depression
Of all the articles that I’ve read this is my favorite. It is well written and has a range of good, helpful strategies.
Sleep, exercise, less refined sugar, reach out to someone else, nutritious food, Omega 3, sunlight, yoga, meditation / prayer, professional help.

10 All Natural Ways to Stop Feeling Depressed
“The Blues” would be a better term than “Depressed” but there are still some helpful lifestyle ideas.
Emotional cycle, being with positive people, reflecting on past successes, gratitude, change of scenery, break in routine, animals and nature, get up and at it, find perspective, take action to help yourself.

10 Chemical-Free Strategies to Trick Yourself Out of the Blues
This writer doesn’t seem to understand depression. A couple of good points, but most strategies are ordinary at best and even bizarre.
Wear blue, take time out mentally, verbalise your anger to a friend, force your smiles, remove clutter, music, experiment with food, a concentration exercize, DIY aromatherapy, get in touch with your primal self through cooking.

Feeling Down? 7 Ways to Pick Yourself Back Up!
Another one that is more about “the blues” than depression, but the writer acknowledges the limitations of his advice. Some good ideas.
Make a list, take action, exercise, clean and straighten yourself up, get out of the house, lively music, talk about it with someone close.

Top 8 Tips for Living with Depression
This writer has a good range ideas, all of which can have an impact on depression.
Support group, manage stress, sleep, diet, control negative thoughts, stop procrastinating, learn to forgive

Top 10 Tips to Overcome Depression
Some interesting ideas, but the tips are a bit light for someone with true depression.
Talk, exercise, cry, sunlight, music, activity, write, balanced diet, affection, professional help.

5 Tips for Staving Off a Depression
Sound tips on how the writer deals with her own depression, before relying on medicine.
Work outdoors, eliminate the triggers, play music, exercise, maintain a positive attitude.

Five Tips for Reducing Depression
This one takes a different angle with the first two tips focusing on the media. There are some good ideas, but the article as a whole is weak in relation to depression.
Don’t read newspapers, turn off the television, be positive towards others, exercise, breathing and relaxation techniques.

Five Self-Care Strategies For Depression
Sound advice which includes exercise and adequate sleep – two of the most important.
Keep active, eat well, adequate sleep, minimize stress, maintain positive relationships.

Top 10 Tips for Beating Depression
This would be the worst article. The writer doesn’t seem to understand depression, viewing it more as a character flaw than a disease.
Develop interests, stay positive, fix your personal problems, create a positive social life, stop bad behavior, be realistic, make changes, become active, fix your diet, control your thinking.

In my last post I wrote about the diary I kept for 2 years; it was the key to working out what caused James’ mood swings. We made some breakthroughs just by reading it back from time to time, but most progress came from charting the data in an Excel spreadsheet. This gave us a clear, visual way to see the relationships between triggers and symptoms. We discovered a couple of major depression triggers this way, and also found that small things that were minor irritations would snowball with other events added in.

The trick for us was to discover which triggers were the most important ones, where the threshold was before they would have an impact, and what we could do to reduce their effects.

Here’s an example. We used to have a busy social life. Through my diary, I began to notice that 2 days after a meal out, James would spiral downwards very quickly and experience a period of depression for 5 or 6 days. It was a very strange, but consistent pattern. We eventually discovered that certain food additives were a trigger; things like preservatives, artificial colors and artificial flavors. Adjusting our lifestyles and upending our diets was difficult, but by doing so we pretty much eliminated one of his major triggers.

Another example is our “feral hour”, around dinner time when the kids are tired, hungry and cranky. Very loud noise is another trigger, since it causes James to become very irritable. If it becomes all too much he will disappear until the kids are calm again. He can now recognize when his irritability is rising, and so takes preventative action. The key is that we have agreed that he can do this when needed, so I don’t feel resentful for lack of help. Leaving me to handle “feral hour” alone is better than suffering another bout of depression.

This knowledge continues to be very helpful to us. We know the little things that can snowball, and we take action when, or before, these little things happen. It’s a preemptive strike, so to speak. Whenever a trigger or potential trigger comes along we have a specific plan to remove its effects. As a result James’ depressive and manic episodes have become more intermittent.

Click here for the fourth post in this series, Keeping Your Mind Together.

In response, my wife Anna will be writing 4 or 5 posts about these issues, spread over the coming 3 to 4 weeks, to relate how she has coped as a caregiver.

It’s really hard being a caregiver when all you want to be is a wife, husband, partner, or friend. It’s important to have strategies to deal with different situations and remain in your normal relationship as much as possible. This is what I want to work through in these posts.

I’ve learned over time that James and I can relate to each other in a rational manner even when he is ill. This has been a learning process; it hasn’t always been the case. And I still often feel like I’m walking on egg shells depending on the severity of the episode.

The key strategy that I’ve learned is how to talk to James when he is sick, either high or low. When he becomes ill he turns into a different person. I say goodbye to my husband, so to speak, and hello to bipolar James. In a depressive episode he becomes highly irritable and usually itches for a fight. Early on he will often make comments to bait me. “All I do is work, work, work, to support your lifestyle and your precious social group.” You can imagine what a red rag to a bull that comment is.

At this point I have 2 options:
1. Take the bait, have a messy fight and accelerate his downswing, or
2. Grit my teeth and say “it’s the illness speaking”. If I can do that then I have a much better chance of diffusing the situation. A comment like “You sound stressed about work – let’s talk” has better results and sometimes can even stop the mood swing.

Lately I’ve also been able to say “Let’s talk before you get stuck in a negative cycle of thinking.” This is huge progress for us. It usually results in a fairly sensible conversation.

James says some very hurtful things to me when he’s depressed, but I only tell him how he’s hurt me when he’s better. I wait until he is rational and can deal with it, rather than inflame the situation further when he is ill. I’ve also learned not to take his bait so personally, as I’ve come to recognize it for what it is.

It’s important to know that I couldn’t do this if I didn’t recognize the start of a mood swing. You need to listen to what is really being said before you reply to comments. Is the person sick? Are they really asking for help? Is this a normally held opinion? A few seconds of thought can save a lot of heartbreak.

Next time I can get on the computer I’ll write on learning about the illness and recognizing early symptoms.

Click here for the second post in this series, Know the Enemy.

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Are you looking for ways to help someone with depression?

Our electronic mood charts are very effective in helping people work out the triggers of their depression, the early warning signs of new episodes, and the most effective strategies, specific to them, that they can adopt to stay well.

In a nutshell, they give people the tools to be proactive with their mental health.

Please take a look at our mood chart apps, and consider purchasing a license for the person you care for.

The basic idea is to identify things that work well for you in your fight with depression. Things like taking your prescribed medicines, therapy sessions, exercise, meditation, massage or relaxation. There are many possibilities.

In my Points Plan I’ve also included things that are reliable triggers for my depressive episodes. These are having a bad argument with someone (major trigger), not getting adequate sleep for days on end, or any kind of very stressful situation.

As you can see from the table I’ve allocated points to items according to their impact on my health. The only exception is medicine, which I’ve downgraded even though it’s crucial for me. It’s too easy to pick up those points each day.

The maximum amount of points in my table is 140 each day or 980 for the week. This is before deducting points for the triggers. I’ve set my aim for the week at 50% of total available points. If I can reach this then I’ll increase it next week. It might be worth adding in a reward for some motivatation.

I honestly think if I can consistently reach such a target, then I am well on the way to more stable health. And by relying on a range of positive strategies, I won’t be pinning my hopes on any single one.

So I’m off to do some exercise – something I haven’t done for months now – but it’s at the very top of my list.

If you want this simple template I’ve saved it for download as a Microsoft Excel file.

1. Be On Their Side

• The depressed person will often be defensive, so an accusatory tone is not helpful. Try to convey a sense of understanding. It isn’t helpful to say “Why can’t you just get out of bed?” Instead try “You seem to have trouble getting out of bed in the mornings. What can I do to help you in this area?”

• The person may have lost perspective on how big a problem actually is. They will find it hard to hear that what is insurmountable for them is actually not such a big deal. It is unhelpful to say “What’s your problem? You’re upset about nothing.” Instead try “You seem to be finding this issue a big deal at the moment. Can we solve it together?”

• When I was very sick, I often thought that my wife was trying to ruin my life. To counter that kind of thinking she would often say “We are a team. I am on your side.”

• Depression is an awful illness, a whole world away from pure sympathy-seeking. So you should treat it as such. “I trust you. If you had a choice in the matter you wouldn’t choose to have depression. How about we search for some solutions together?”

2. Give Plenty of Reassurance

• Many people suffering with depression feel unworthy of being loved. You need to reassure them frequently. For example “I love you for who you are. I am not going to leave you.”

• In a similar vein, they may have lost the ability to recognize their positive attributes. You might reaffirm them with “You are a sensitive person who cares for others” or “People really love you a lot. They think you’re a great person.”

• If said repeatedly and with absolute sincerity then it is helpful to say “If you ever need a friend, I am here.”

3. Give Understanding and Sympathy

• People with depression can spend a lot of time ruminating on their situation and feeling sorry for themselves. Pointing it out to them is not helpful. Instead, try to sympathize.

• “I can’t imagine how hard it is for you, but you have all my sympathy.”

• “All I want to do is give you a hug and a shoulder to cry on.”

• “I can’t honestly say that I know how you feel, but I want to help in any way I can.”

4. Offer to Help

• “Let me do anything you need me to do to help.”

• If you ask “What is the best thing I can do to help you right now?” don’t be offended if the reply is “Leave me alone”. Sometimes, that is the most helpful thing you can do at present.

• Well meaning people often attempt to immediately fix the problem. “Have you tried aromatherapy? There was an article about it in the paper…” . This kind of comment can come across as trivializing the illness. If you want to introduce a treatment idea, make sure you are respectful about the seriousness of depression. “It’s important that you stay on your medication and keep seeing your doctor. I’ve found some information on aromatherapy. Would you like to look into it with me?”

• While it is important to accept the person in the state they are in, don’t let it totally consume your life. Otherwise, you’ll fall in a heap and won’t be much help to anyone. You need to take care of yourself. “I am committed to you and to helping you. But I also need to eat / shop / go out for coffee / ring a friend / see a movie to recharge my batteries. Then I can look after you better.”

Please add anything else that you find helpful in the comments.

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Are you looking for ways to help someone with depression?

Our electronic mood charts are very effective in helping people work out the triggers of their depression, the early warning signs of new episodes, and the most effective strategies, specific to them, that they can adopt to stay well.

In a nutshell, they give people the tools to be proactive with their mental health.

Please take a look at our mood chart apps, and consider purchasing a license for the person you care for.

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