Everything Your Mind Can Conceive, You Can Achieve
November 29th, 2007“…you do not need to be defeated by anything…you can have peace of mind, improved health, and a never ceasing flow of energy…your life can be full of joy and satisfaction…of this I have no doubt at all…”
Norman Vincent Peale, The Power of Positive Thinking
Genuine Hope or Cruel Hoax?
I’ve read plenty of motivational, self help, get rich books. So many, in fact, that not long ago I wanted to write my own book about these books.
Only recently it dawned on me why I’ve been so captivated by them. I was reading them before I knew that I was mentally ill and I was very unhappy with life. They provided an escape. I dreamed of a better life; they gave me hope that things would change. They promised me that everything I wanted would be mine if I purposefully set out to realize my goals. A powerful promise for someone who is depressed. Something that is impossible to put into action for someone who is depressed.
I spent many years keeping lists of things to do and goals to achieve. I revised them, laminated them onto cards, tried different applications to sort and present them in different ways. If I could get it all done and reach all my goals then surely my life would better. But it never materialized. There was a lot of hoping and dreaming, but hardly any action. This kind of compulsive goal-setting was always a recipe for disappointment.
If you are like this, constantly dwelling on the future but paralyzed with inaction, then like me you will probably experience disappointment.
An article on PsychCentral, Giving Up on Goals can be Helpful?, quotes recent research that found that letting a life goal go can be physically and mentally beneficial in some circumstances.
That has been my experience over the last few years. As I’ve stopped setting life goals (and sub-goals) I’ve focused more on my core values, and on living in the here and now. I think I’ve coped better with life.
December 28th, 2007 at 9:32 pm
People have their own way of dealing with things. Of living life. While you say that these motivational books have only given you disappointment, I also think that it provided you with the answer to what the right path is for you. Everything must be seen as an opportunity to learn and to change. Best of luck to the path that has opened up to you.
January 3rd, 2008 at 11:42 am
Thanks for your comments. I just descovered your site over the weekend and will be interested in going through the pages over coming days and weeks. My wife is bipolar and although I have not had any clinical diagnoses - over the years I seem to relate to some of what she has describes in some of my own moods and behaviors…
I saw one of you comments about converting the boardroom to a bedroom. My wife sleeps alot but this seems to be related to some of here highs and lows… I found hopefullness in that comment… I hope that you have found a balance or at least some optimized place of relationships, income, and challenges.
I can appreciate your perspective on goal setting. I have read a number of things on time management, goals, strategies. Somehow this information has integrated itself into my life - but certainly no nervana :) We have four Kids (15 down to 8) the youngest with special needs. Getting through laundry is nearly impossible let alone discussing what we would do when we retire or if we getting out to dinner for our annaversary :)
January 19th, 2008 at 11:57 pm
Thanks for putting into words what I ‘discovered’ through my clinical depression. I have given up setting rigid goals and/or changing them with every change in wind. My life now revolves around one criteria: Does it feel organic? Yes, and I go forward. No, and I look elsewhere. As you can see by my website I found my ’saving grace’ in rabbits. It feeds my soul and that’s perfect.
Thanks for your writing. I’ll check back often.
January 21st, 2008 at 8:01 pm
I like your article and experience up there.
I can relate what your tying to do. Its true that it is hard to do in action than thinking, dreaming and hoping about what are you going to with your life to make you happy. I think it is all in the mind. Our minds create a negative thinking that our body response could not move or do anything.
We should think nothing for be able to our body response calmly but it is hard to do. We have jobs and think anything for our daily lives. What makes you disappoint of your goal is that you think and expect much of the outcome and you make yourself force to do what you dont want to do in action. Just be calm and go with the flow and act confidently just the way you are. I thinks that is a very hard to do. Whahahahaha……