The 12 Best Things About Being Mentally Ill
July 15th, 2007It’s an odd title I know. What can possibly be good about mental illness? Well, nothing when you’re in the depths of despair. But there can be great benefits from having an illness, including a mental illness. These are the ones I’ve found in my life.
Slow.
I’ve slowed down a lot. I stopped wearing a watch a couple of years ago and haven’t missed it once. If someone asks me the time I take a guess, and I’m always within 10 or 15 minutes of the correct answer. If I’m 10 or 15 minutes late for the doctor, it doesn’t matter. He works to the same system anyway.
No.
I’ve learned how to say no. If you are good at something, like work, then people will ask you to do more. It builds up over time. I’ve learnt to say no. I can’t. I’m mentally ill. Sorry.
Simple.
I don’t worry about what I’m going to wear. I don’t have to keep track of my clothes cycle for work. I don’t care what I’m going to eat for dinner, whether I need a bigger television, if I can buy a half-decent car or what people think of my extra 30 pounds of insulation. If I didn’t have depression these things would still consume me.
Thanks.
It’s been tricky but I’ve learned to be thankful for what I have, not what I don’t have. It keeps things in the right perspective.
Time.
I now spend more time on things that are important to me. Example - I have great relationships with my kids. Time with them is invaluable. Unfortunately most Dads don’t spend more than a few minutes a day giving their kids undivided attention. Depression is a good wake-up call.
Perspective.
I’ve developed a much bigger picture of things and learned to keep the small things in perspective. This has been necessary because of depression.
Health.
I take my physical health much more seriously than I used to because of my illness. If I can just get exercise to fall into place!
Marriage.
My marriage is far stronger today than it would ever have been if I didn’t have bipolar. I read recently that 90% of marriages with one partner having bipolar end in divorce. If that statistic is even close to right then it is truly tragic. My wife had plenty of reasons to leave me for years, but she stayed true to her vows even though she didn’t understand what was wrong with me. (I write that with a touch of trepidation. I know that many don’t have good support and I can’t imagine how hard it is.)
Friends.
I’ve always been very open about having a mental illness, and I’ve actually never felt the stigma. When I converted to Christianity about 15 years ago I lost half my good friends who had a problem with it. Since I’ve been telling people that I have bipolar I’ve gained at least the same number of friends. Go figure!
Others.
The best thing about having any illness must be the ability to empathize and help others.
Speak.
I was once very guarded with what I said, often checking myself from saying anything that could offend or impact someone’s view of me. I’ve really lightened up and feel liberated. I’m rarely inappropriate, but if I am, as far as I can tell nobody really cares. (”Mmmm, James is a bit up today.”)
Character.
In the Bible, in Romans 5:3-4 it says:
“we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”
Concern.
Being engaged with the world is good. I think a lot more deeply about things like inequality, poverty, the environment and mental illness. Unfortunately being more concerned means I feel more let down by those in power who continually fail us.
Laugh.
Life is absurd. My life is absurd. I’ve learned to laugh more at both.
Service.
We have friends who always have a very, very messy house. 3 young girls, great imaginations, a lot of dress-up clothes, craft, renovations, and you know the rest. They frequently invite other families over for lunches and dinners, and have long joked that it’s a service to the parents, to make them feel better about the state of their own houses.
Then I found this in another blog:
“When you’re mentally ill you are constantly doing social work just by existing. I realize that often, when you’re crazy you actually need social services for yourself, but just by talking about yourself to people who aren’t feeling that great about themselves, you are able to instantly make them feel glad they aren’t you. That’s a great service to offer.”
Finally.
I took part in a pilot educational program a few years ago for people with bipolar. It was spread over 6 weeks for 3 or 4 hours a week. Before then I had never met anyone with bipolar, so it was strange getting to know 20 other people with the same illness. Strange because they were all very normal people!
On one night a guest speaker talked about her bipolar illness, describing some of the joys and benefits that she’d experienced. At the end of the talk she said that given her life again she would have bipolar again. A couple of people were very offended. For the rest of us it gave food for thought. I’ve been chewing on that one ever since.
July 24th, 2007 at 4:21 am
hi from another bi polar Christian. Dont know how people cope in life with out Jesus. have met a number of bi polar Christians through my work for MDF there must be quite a few of us. Enjoyed reading your thoughts.
Thanks
Anneka
August 5th, 2007 at 4:22 pm
[…] The list is compiled at the great new blog Finding Optimism. Among the positive views is the entry 12 Best Things About Being Mentally Ill. Check it out. Time. I now spend more time on things that are important to me. Example - I have […]
August 5th, 2007 at 8:54 pm
[…] The list is compiled at the great new blog Finding Optimism. Among the positive views is the entry 12 Best Things About Being Mentally Ill. Check it […]
August 6th, 2007 at 8:38 pm
It’s nice to hear someone say something good about bipolar for once… not that it’s a party…it’s not, but I certainly wouldn’t be the person I am today if I had been born without this illness. If I had the chance to live my life again, I would choose for bipolar to be a part of it, despite that pain that comes with the package. Thanks for the article, I really enjoyed it.
-Greta
http://goodtherapy.org
August 21st, 2007 at 9:23 pm
I think mental illnesses are ways that we react to the world around us when it conflicts with who we are and how we perceive things at a given time. They are opportunities to grow and realize we are all uniquely powerful and that there is beauty to be found in almost anything. From all darkness comes light.
August 22nd, 2007 at 6:16 am
Now- Whatcha got for someone who has no family at all, no wife, no g/f, and lives alone 80% of their time?
And I have tried so hard to have someone to love in my life……
August 22nd, 2007 at 10:00 pm
It sounds like you are having a hard time. You have my sympathy and prayers.
August 23rd, 2007 at 3:10 pm
“Yes.” She nodded. “The paranoids — actually paranoiac schizophrenics — would function as the statesman class; they’d be in charge of developing political ideology and social programs — they’d have the overall world view. The simple schizophrenics…” She pondered. “They’d correspond to the poet class, although some of them would b e religious visionaries — as would be some of the Heebs [hebephrenics]. The Heebs, however would be inclined to produce ascetic saints, whereas the schizophrenics would produce dogmatists. Those with Polymorphic schizophrenia simplex would be the creative members of the society, producing the new ideas.” She tried to remember what other categories might exist. “There could be some with over-valent ideas, psychotic disorders that were advanced forms of milder obsessiv-compulsive neurosis, the co-called diencephalic disturbances. Those people would be the clerks and office holders of the society, the ritualistic functionaries, with no original ideas. Their conservatism would balance the radical quality of the poly-morphic shcizophrenics and give the society stability.”
Mageboon said, “So one would think the whole affair would work.” He gestured. “How would it differ from our own society on Terra?”
-Philip K. Dick, Clans of the Alphane Moon
September 12th, 2007 at 3:20 am
Hey - thanks for making me not feel so alone. I have friends and family who love me and are great at supporting me, but there’s nothing like hearing from other people who know what this is like. I’m working on a zine called Not the Only Crazy about depression and this site is going to be a huge resource.
September 17th, 2007 at 9:02 pm
I really appreciate your input about bipolar. I’ve also known same amazingly beautiful artists with bipolar — they have added so much beauty to this world…
December 29th, 2007 at 1:08 am
Artists!? ARTISTS!!?? I would give anything right now to NOT have ANY “artistic” so-called skills AT ALL. They are NOT WANTED and NOT PRACTICAL and NOT NEEDED!!
I’d rather have something PRACTICAL!!!!!
Oh big DEAL I string BEADS and tinker with a jeweller’s saw and make stupid TRINKETS!!
WHOOP DEE DOO!!
I was talking to my brother today, he just passed the test to be hired as a power-plant worker, and as he was telling me about the things he’d be able to do if he got hired…buy a house and all…I cried and cried and CRIED!!
This “artistic” CRAP has gotten me NOWHERE in 20 YEARS and I HATE IT!!!
ARTISTS!! Go away!! :( :( :(
(crying)
March 18th, 2008 at 9:16 am
I enjoyed reading the “12 Things…”. I think you point at important positive aspects and I would especially agree with the “others” and “concern” part. Though there’s the other side of the coin: it can be quite overwhelming to be so sensitive to what others are often not even close to see.
I am not bipolar but “just” depressive, and I really hope for a day when I can feel the warmth of just one ray of light on me again. Choose a life with depression over one without it? C’mon. Maybe a couple of months to experience a different, darker side of life. No, this suffering is no way to live. It is the light at the end of the tunnel that makes it worth fighting.
May 19th, 2008 at 10:19 pm
I really appreciated this post: “12 best best things about…”
I can relate to to insights gained and mixed blessings from living with bipolar II. Liked the humor in the last one about “performing social work just by existing.”
This is a positive website!
May 19th, 2008 at 10:31 pm
Really appreciated this post. Can relate to insights gained and “mixed blessings” of coping with bipolar II. Liked the humor at the end about “performing social work by just existing.” :-)